Being denied to be a father

I have seen men crying because they were denied opportunities to grow their kids due to baby mama drama. I don’t get why some women get to use their kids as a tool for their own personal vendetta . I was watching  this other show on mzansi magic channel 161  which is called  ” utatakho”  it unfolded  how most of kids and fathers are denied opportunity for them to bond , which gets to affect them psychologically.There are  various factors that affects  fathers to spend time with their kids , for instance  South African law  favours women when it comes to  parenting and custody. According to South African family law  custody decisions, mothers are more likely to receive primary residential custody than fathers. Although in the past decade there has been an increase in equal residential custody, mothers are still much more likely to be awarded primary residential care. Across a wide range of jurisdictions the estimates are that mothers receive primary custody 68-88% of the time, fathers receive primary custody 8-14%, and equal residential custody is awarded in only 2-6%. Men at the later stage they get to be blamed for being the missing link in their children’s lives.  I just get  mixed feelings when men  are being robbed for being part of their children’s  life , while other men gets time to grow their kids for the fact that some women are you using that to be spiteful to baby daddies . The sad and most painful thing is seeing your own  kid calling another man daddy. I feel like that will definitely tarnish a man’s soul, which is not fair because some mothers are doing it for being spiteful. According to statistics  in South Africa it shows that 45% of kids grow up  without a father figure or they are absent in their lives . Kids are not supposed to be caught up in between and be used as tool to make a man’s life difficult. I’m urging all mothers out there not to use their kids as weapon to derail men from growing  and seeing their kids.


Census SA,  2010 accessed on 23 October 2016.

Heaton, J 2012. The south African family law: cape town, 4th edtion.


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